I remember this like it was yesterday. I was a late October day. When I woke up, I was unable to move my legs.
I could have seen this coming. My mind had already given me plenty of warnings, that I wasn’t taking seriously. Simply all the panic attacks and other signs, for me weren’t a boundary. And so my body was shut down, so my complete being could finally rest.
Still, my mind kept me hostage. Even though I was completely exhausted, physically unable to do anything, still my mind was fighting a battle. Telling I couldn’t rest. I had responsibilities. I had a study to finish, a job to do. Still my ego, carried partly by me, carried partly by the beliefs of society, was forcing me NOT TO QUIT.
I remember finally giving into it. I remember feeling ashamed call after call, I had to make to cancel my responsibilities for the upcoming week.
And then, days later, when I conquered taking the train all the way up north, I created my first reality shift. Even though I saw it as taking a break, and coming to myself back then, I now see (about three years later) how valuable this moment was.
It was this moment I for the first time, allowed myself to be with me. I remember writing down how overwhelmed I felt by the loving feeling of being alone. How much strength it gave me to actually nurture myself. To actually let go of all the beliefs I was living towards, send from society, which most part I did not even agree on.
And so, after a while on this little island, I found back beauty. Beauty whit-in myself and my own power. It was this very moment I got first introduced to the positive sides of law of attraction. It was this very week that I got drawn into a store and really follow my intuition. And where this lady walked up to me, as a stranger, knowing exactly she had to talk to me. ‘Are you working on yourself right now girl’, ‘I am hosting these gatherings every Friday and I would like to bring you in as a guest’. And I was so amazed, that this woman knew exactly she was waiting for me. It was my first time being introduced to an aware moment of serendipity.
And while all these little ‘coincidences’ kept happening, my mind began to surrender. Slowly, but gradually.
Three years later my mind doesn’t play these games with me anymore. Because it understood that it’s just my mind and I am not willing to get pushed down so hard that it’s costing me everything. Today I am the master of my mind.