The beautiful blue eyes I used to look at in the mirror,
Now seem empty and surrounded by darkness.
I never imagined life would drag me down this hard again
I knew I was taking myself with me on my travels,
With all the pains, wounds, sorrows.
But oh that it could be this hard, nobody told me. Nobody could.
They told me I couldn’t make it this long.
This much money would run out in maybe three months
Or that I would feel homesick too.
Sure. I took the words in and let them program me.
Program me over my own reality of proud, hope and dreams.
All the beliefs, the fears I have build over the years,
Even the ones that I already faced multiple times back ‘home’,
Are now brought into a daylight that is so much stronger.
It sets me back harder then ever before.
But I know, it will build me op bigger then before.
The virus inside me, programmed by others’ damaging words,
my own damaging words and beliefs, I will take down.
I will face every day, every opportunity,
as a lesson given from life to build me up.
To create my own hardware in my mind; to create my path of life.